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Political Jokes JOKES


Macho Indian with the shotgun Kisi aur ke baho mein rahakar
Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter, "Want coffee." 

The waiter says, "Sure, Chief, coming right up." He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere, then just walks out.

The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Want coffee." 

The waiter says, "Whoa, dude! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?" 

The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Training for position in United States Congress: Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day." 

Understanding the Governance System
As a daily habit, the 10-year Old Pintu was reading newspaper. 

Suddenly he asked his father, " Dad! What does it mean by 'Governance System'? " 

"Its Like..." father said while thinking, "See! I earn and bring money to home, mean's I am a 'Money Holder'. Your mother decides where and how to spend that money and that means she is 'Government'. That maid in our home is doing all the household works, so she will be 'Labour Class'. You are a 'Common man' or 'Public'. Your li'l brother is 'Future' or the 'Next Generation', understand?". 

That day Pintu slept with all those thoughts. In the middle of the night he woke-up because his li'l brother was crying. He wetted the mattress so he was crying. Pintu went to woke-up his mother. She was in deep sleep so Pintu went to the Maid's room to wake her up. But there his father was sleeping with the maid. So he came back with frustration. 

Next morning father asked Pintu, "Hey Pintu Darling! You understood the 'Governance System'? ". 

Pintu replied, "Yeah Dad, I understood! When money Holder is exploiting Labour Class, our Government is sleeping. Future of our nation is crying for not getting their basic needs fulfilled and in all this Common Man is suffering!"

Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, 'Titanic' and 'My Life' by Bill Clinton.
One student turned in the following book report, With the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! 

His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report. 

Titanic : Cost - $29.99 
Clinton : Cost - $29.99 

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read 
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read 

Titanic : The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. 
Clinton : The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe. 

Titanic : Jack is a starving artist. 
Clinton : Bill is a bullshit artist. 

Titanic : In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar. 
Clinton : Ditto for Bill. 

Titanic : During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined. 
Clinton : Ditto for Monica. 

Titanic : Jack teaches Rose to spit. 
Clinton : Let's not go there. 

Titanic : Rose gets to keep her jewelry. 
Clinton : Monica' s forced to return her gifts. 

Titanic : Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life. 
Clinton : Clinton doesn't remember Jack. 

Titanic : Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen. 
Clinton : Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either. 

Titanic : Jack surrenders to an icy death. 
Clinton : Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing.

US Government Business Policy
It is the month of June, on the shores of the Black Sea. It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit. 

Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town. 

He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro note on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one. 

The hotel proprietor takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the butcher. 

The Butcher takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the pig grower. 

The pig grower takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of his feed and fuel. 

The supplier of feed and fuel takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the town prostitute that in these hard times, gave her services on credit. 

The prostitute runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the 100 Euro note to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there. 

The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 Euro note back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything. 

At that moment, the rich tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his 100 Euro note, after saying that he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town. 

No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism. 

This is how the United States Government is doing business today.

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