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DOCTOR JOKES


The Diet
A woman went to the doctors and he realised that all her problems were because she was terribly overweight, so he put her on a strict diet.

He said to her, "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day.  Repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds."

When she returned in two weeks time, she shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs!

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

She nodded..."I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead on the 3rd day."

"From the hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.

"No, from the bloody skipping!"

Q: Does an apple a day really keep the doctor away?
Q: Does an apple a day really keep the doctor away?

A: Yes, but only if you aim it well.

Doctor: Have you had this before?
Doctor: Have you had this before?

Patient: Yes

Doctor: Well, you’ve got it again....

Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.

Patient: Well, you might as well give me the bad news first.

Doctor: I'm afraid the lab called with your test results. They said you only have 24 hours to live.

Patient: 24 HOURS! That's terrible! WHAT on earth could be WORSE news? 

Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

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